She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
