I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
