Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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