Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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