it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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