Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
