yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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