come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
