with your own penis?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
