Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
