his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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