first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
