It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
