Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
