I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Randomize
