He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
