Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
