I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
