fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
