RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
