you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
