Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
