I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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