just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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