so that wasnt chicken after all
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
