i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
