He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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