Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Do you still have your period?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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