if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
