So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
