so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
