i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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