imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I AM VODKA MAN
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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