There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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