You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You don't make any sense
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