Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
