the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
