8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
