Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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