My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Randomize
