i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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