i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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