Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
