All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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