apparently the secret to your success is patron
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
