So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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