she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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