Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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