I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
