now i know why i became what i already was.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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