I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
