separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
