Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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