this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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