I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
