honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize