i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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