so explain again why im purple
no
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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