I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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