Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize