Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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