What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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