That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
you made out with another girl for some wings
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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